The tantric couple relationship: Man and woman, the wings of one soul
Lecture with Advaita Stoian
Wednesday 18th of February, 20.00 – 21.45
in Kulturen at NBV, Stockholm
Men and women are complementary opposites: yin and yang, the sun and the moon, plus and minus, embodiments of the divine masculine and feminine (Shiva and Shakti) … And each has its unique role to play in the couple relationship in order to create the conditions of a perfect unit.
Just as the left and right wing allow the bird to fly, the man and woman allow the soul to rise above its limitations through their complementary work together. Just as the left and right hand of the master pianist create the symphony, the man and woman create the masterpiece of Life through their union in Love. However, the fascinating game of polarity within the couple relationship is subjected nowadays to severe misunderstandings, lack of clarity about its importance and even a process of corruption through wrong notions about femininity and masculinity. In these misunderstandings and wrongdoings in the polarity game are rooted an immense number of problems that couples are facing today in their life together.
The ancient tantric principles offer the key for transforming the couple relationship into a sacred workshop for continuously improving ourselves and thus constantly perfecting our relationship. By properly understanding and applying the wisdom of the masculine and feminine forces, couples can achieve long-lasting happiness and soar to new spiritual heights – together!
Advaita’s enlightening insight into the fascinating and vast topic of the couple relationship pierces through the layers of confusion that exist today, bringing clarity to the complex mechanisms that influence the happiness and well-being in a relationship. Through years of personal experience, he offers practical advice on how we can best understand our specific role, so each one of us can consciously play the eternal divine game of Love.
This event also gives the opportunity to meet the author of the Tantra Intensive Course, hear about his own experiences in tantra, and to ask questions.
Tea and cake will be served. All are welcome to this event and no previous experience is needed.
Participants may come as individuals or couples.
Practical info:
• Time & date: 20.00 – 21.45, 18th of February 2015
• Location: In KULTUREN at NBV, Bergsunds Strand 43, Hornstull – Stockholm (200 m. fr. Hornstull Metro)
• Entrance: free
• Language: English
• Sign up now: Email us [email protected] or call us on ph: +46 769613119
• Join the event and invite your friends on FACEBOOK
• Join our Intensive Courses in Stockholm: Special offer on our Tantra Intensive Course after the workshop! 25% reduction on the intensive course for newbie’s.
• Next events: More info coming soon about our activities in Stockholm in 2015.
Advaita is a rare spiritual treasure in today’s world.
He is a direct disciple of the legendary Tantric master Gregorian Bivolaru, with whom he shares the seat of controversy as together they set the standard for a new level of spiritual understanding on this planet.
During his 17 years of teaching, people throughout the world have been graced by Advaita’s presence; their lives deeply touched by his profound approach to the spiritual path. His relaxed yet witty and candid style combined with extraordinary insight and an unyielding spiritual aspiration make his presentations not only a profoundly revealing spiritual experience but also highly entertaining. He is currently the senior coordinating teacher of Natha Yogacenter, Denmark.
He is truly a forerunner in the spiritual sexual revolution of our time – he helps people both individually and collectively through consciously replacing taboos with knowledge.
It sounds very interesting.
Wow, it such a poetic, and new way to look at relationships! I must admit I have been scared all my life that relationships (when they reach a certain age) are doomed, into that banality that most of us have witnessed our parents slowly decline into… mindless habits, endless nagging.. I have always wondered what happens to relationships? How can they begin with that amazing spark that sets us on fire, gives us wings to fly, that magic that makes us invincible! Where does it go? How can all that wonder die such a boring, slow death? Maybe i can find some answers in this workshop, but Stockholm is a bit too far for me, will you come to UK anytime soon?
@Emma
The relationships are dying because we are suffocating them, overexploit them, consuming them while ignoring their needs. Thats what we can transform in our attitude and then we will experience relationships as a conscious choice that we can enjoy for a very very long time without the diminishing in intensity to appear.
I am planning to be in UK some time soon for meetings in Tara Yoga Centre. And i will for sure be in London Tantra Festival in September with a similar subject as the one announced for 18th of February in Stockholm.
You are right! If i look at the people in relationships around me, they are not growing in a healthy way. I suffered a lot with relationships, i put all my heart into making them work, in fact i gave myself totally to them, and they all collapsed sooner or later, leaving me heartbroken. How it possible to love without becoming attached and suffering?
@ Emma
Loving more is the answer! Love energy is a genuine “shield” that protect you from lower/negative energies such as attachments or jealousy. When the “shield” is weak (the love you have is little/ filtered through the mind/ more taking than giving) then you are easily vulnerable to strange situations that you generate … while thinking (being convinced) that you are in love.
The only solution to the problems that appear when you are in love is to love more.
Then i don’t really know what love is, i thought i was a loving and giving person, but maybe i was just taking.
Its a whole new way to look at myself and relationships, its kind of scary. Would you say it is better to be alone and fix my problems or to be in a relationship and fix myself? I am much more peaceful when i am alone. But i guess it doesn’t mean the problems went away, they must be just sleeping deep inside me.
@ Emma
In a dry garden there are no flowers left and together with them all the weed is gone … but their seeds are in the ground and only wait to feed from the emotions to spring forward. Better let them come out, the good and bad and sort them out using conscious choices instead of the comfort of no choices.
Thank you for the poetic answer you gave to me, and i just read the response you gave to Anai, what you said, touched a very deep part in my soul and answered some questions of my heart. I am deeply touched by this new insight into ‘what love is’ and ‘what it is not’ and ‘what love and relationships can be’. I would ‘love’ 🙂 to attend one of your lectures or workshops when you come to London.
Emma
Dear Advaita, thank you for the wonderful lecture. I was there and i have to confess your synthetic presentation did enlightened me in depth about the different roles men and women have in life, in their inner life, in their own approach to their own life, body and soul.
Many times we try to do the same, all the same, man/woman, to have the same program, to have the same approach to things in life, even to our job or to our relationships. And it keeps drying out our soul, as this is not the way to inner fulfillment. But how to do in a world which is more and more luring you to forget your real gender and to “choose” what is “fit” for you. As if having a female or masculine sexual organ could be a choice that one could change just like that, as you would chose the shoes in the morning.
But these things that you have presented have to be practiced, have to be assimilated in our natural way of being… long way to go.
And a question: do you consider normal – from polarity point of view – that the man should financially support the woman (his lover)? Do you consider normally or entitled that the man should pay the bill for the dinner or the air-ticket when inviting her to visit him?
thank you.
@ Claudia
Yes, these aspects have to be practiced in the daily life and integrated in the couple’s behavior. Today there are a lot of misunderstandings and false ideas regarding the polarity roles in the couple relationship.
Your question is not relevant without a particular context because the game of polarity is based upon some universal principles that are applied in a specific situation. When you try to take one application of these principles into a particular frame and make a general pattern you loose the essence and get a dogma. In a certain situation it is normal that the man is offering support to his lover as an expression of his dedication to their relationship. But this should not be in any way a demand from the woman and should not become a measure for his love.
When there appearing some attachments toward such manifestations the woman should say “no, thank you!” and take care of her own needs. In this way their polarity game is remaining unbiased by their weaknesses.
But i don’t understand, if you are always trying to maintain your relationships and love more when the problems appear, how can you note the difference when that relation needs to end? If you do like this it seems they will continue non stopping. And when you feel love for another one… It is a sign of lack of love for your couple?
Thank you.
@ Anai
You are making a mistake by forcefully extending some of my statements. Indeed we can always aim to love more but you are not supposed to maintain the relationship by any meaning. The more free and open you are in love, the more active you manifest the love, the more clear is the moment when there is no need for that relationship to exist. Your capacity to love someone will become a relationship when it is reciprocated by the one you love. Therefore, since you are actively loving you are doing your best to remove any obstacles toward the perfection of that relationship. But this will not oblige the other one to love you in exchange … on the contrary your active way of loving will be the best way to offer freedom to your lover. However that freedom sometimes is used as not loving back. Then it is clear that the relationship is not anymore … and you will move on even if you still love that person.
It is only because we cannot conceive love without attachments, expectations, obligations, that we cannot imagine what happens if we still love someone but we are not loved back.
If you truly love another person it means only that. If you lit another candle from your old candle, this will not diminish the flame of the first candle. In the same way you can love another person without necessarily diminishing the love you have for the one you are already in a couple relationship with.
When it is love mixed with a lot of prejudice, projections, expectations, then it is indeed difficult to ignite another love without diminishing the one you have for the previous one … because this is not really love but a mixture of a lot of things among which love almost got lost. If you love another one your free time will diminish, your money will maybe diminish, the space that you use will diminish … but all these are not supposed to be associated with love. For “Love is enough for itself …” says the apostle…
Love to love and then you will realize that you will not have limitations in this act. All the other limitations will not hinder your capacity to love.
Yes, it is much more clear now!
We are learning the art of loving..
Thank you very much 🙂
We could not be in Stockholm for this workshop, but I liked very much and was inspired by comments, questions and your answers dear Advaita. Recently I had a conversation with my sister and she said tantric relationships are more unstable than normal relationships of modern society. My guess is that normal relations in society today are not as stable as they seem. Actually they look more stable because they are not challenged by the accumulation of erotic energy and its transmutation and sublimation. For me it is like trying to compare a car with deflated tires with one that has its tires full. Tantric relationship which is empowered by erotic energy which it accumulates over time allows transformation of that relationship, while a normal relationship without this energy is not moving at all. Tantric relationship may seem unstable because just like a car with wheels constantly swollen when it stops even on a little slope, the car is going down. Such a relationship does not have pauses, because to stop means in fact death. What is your opinion on this issue ?
@ Radu
It is true that relationships based upon materialistic values might appear to be more stable then a tantric relationship. But in the moment you are looking into the intensity and deepness of the relationships, the values are immediately turning upside-down. Due to their intense and prolonged life experiences, the tantric lovers are emotionally and mentally more mature, showing stability in front of life’s ups and downs.
Your comparison of a car with flat tires is good in this context…
I am very confused on certain principles relating to the period of the full moon, in which we are right now. In some schools of yoga is said to be a very good time for making love ,I quote ´´I love full Sex Magik ritual in the light of the Full Moon´´ while others are totally against it. What is your view on this and please explain why (time is running fast? 🙂
@ dominique
The confusion regarding the full moon appears due to the little interest on evolution and transformation and major interest on having just some intense experiences. When one only wants to get some more intensive states, irrespective to the way they can help the spiritual transformation, then full moon is good and its influence desirable. When the criteria is to obtain genuine transformation and measurable results … then the full moon influence is not what one would need. On the other hand there is a special moment in the lunar cycle that falls approximately two days before the moment of full moon and is a moment of auspicious lunar influence. For this reason some tantric schools are talking about this moment as the moment of beneficial influence under the power of Tripura Sundari, the Great Cosmic Power of Love, Truth, Beauty and Harmony.
Now I understand this importants elements on the full moon period. I thank you that you have now clarified these important aspects of the full moon. So far I have not managed to find a relevant opinion on the full moon period,in several schools differing opinions but now everything is clear… 🙂
Hello
What can you do to rekindle the spark in your relationship?
Everything becomes very monotonous now, and we are trying new things but after a while we return to the same fights over and over again. It’s like we’re trapped in a vicious circle. Do you think taking a break is a good choice when you are in this situation? Some tips to work on?
Thanks
@ Andrea
Sometimes taking a brake and spending the time apart from each other by intensely practicing methods for individual transformation is a very good idea.
What you describe is a typical couple crisis that is caused by lack of polarity and therefore lack of individual transformation. After you have unconsciously consumed the sweet moments of beginning, it is time for the conscious evolution of the relationship.
To pass to the next level of the relationship (where you can consciously create new beginnings) you need to learn to have continuity in transformation … thus creating the proper conditions for renewing the love you have for each other. Absence of this process of individual transformation your inferior mind will “model” the relationship and sooner or later you are locked into a mental prison cell, plastered with nice pictures from the beautiful past of your relationship.
Try this and see what is happening …
I understand, i also think we are not prioritizing correctly, i will see how is working with this. Love needs to be first
Tonight will be a very important astrological moment: the spring equinox. This mysterious moment of hiatus spontaneously puts us in connection with the subtle huge energies of the beginning with full momentum of optimism that occurs every new start of life. Now the day becomes almost equal to night. This moment of balance symbolizes a ineffable state of harmony which reveals a state of profound transformation.This year the mysterious moment of spring equinox have a very special spiritual significance .