Intimacy and Career: Do these two exclude each other? – PART 2

August 13th, 2023

Many years ago I found a statement in an ancient text that, at that time, transformed my life completely: “The Tantric practitioner is and always remains in the beginning.”

It is quite easy to notice that in the beginning of something that is good for us and that makes us happy, everything is so amazing and uplifting, but after a while, it starts to decrease in intensity. According to the Tantric teachings – this process can be turned around. We can remain in this fresh and reinvigorating energy of the beginning if we know how to revive it.

The ‘Ending-scheme’

The “ending scheme” or the “finishing scheme” that we learn in intimacy is another behaviour that dramatically jeopardises our relationships. We learn that climax in love-making – especially for men – is the death of pleasure, and this idea becomes embedded in our psychology and physiology. We learn that we go ‘up’ to excitement, to extraordinary intense pleasure and then explosion and climax happen at the same time.

These two seem to be fused together somewhere in the nervous system. And then, the so-called refractory stage follows, where erection disappears (in the case of men) and appetite and desire are lost completely. At this point, the guy usually turns around and starts snoring. A woman’s physiology is slightly different; she has a much more accessible possibility to turn climax into repeated climax and multiple orgasms. But, it takes two to tango.

So, most people experience climax as ‘the end’ in intimacy, and they remain trapped in this pattern, behaving in the same way also in the rest of their lives. In some situations they stay cool, avoiding the ‘climax’ completely, and in others they reach a peak of interest and excitement in a project and then quickly lose heart for it.

We need to rewire our attention and the way we engage in all our experiences to be able to experience intense peaks of pleasure and happiness repeatedly, without exhaustion.

A call to literacy in intimacy

Remember the statement, “The way you manifest in intimacy is the way you are in life”? It is so important to relearn how to be intimate with our lover because, interestingly, it is also the way in which we can relearn to be intimate with life itself. With this, you will never again have moments of peak enthusiasm, pleasure and happiness about something (or someone), only to lose interest soon after.

You will always find new horizons opening up right in front of your eyes after each peak, because the heavy curtain of unconsciousness will never again fall and cover your eyes after the climactic moments in and out of the bedroom.

Now is the perfect time to take your relationship out of the ‘done’ folder and to discover the next wonderful goal to pursue within it. Show an active interest to make your lover happier and more fulfilled. Dare to engage your resources for even more amazing experiences because there is no limit! Learn to ride the ascending cascade of climaxes in lovemaking without collapsing the energies. Learn to expand your consciousness. Learn to keep your beginnings vibrant, fresh and brilliant.

Read here the first part of this article